Frome Bashing

Welll guess where I went today? That's right work. How fun.

Ummm Katie abandoned me once more : ( Not fair. But it was ok coz I was with Kat and Lydia and so I had people to talk to.

Everyone seemed to talk about the Frome store today. Both customers and colleagues. No on seems to like the store. I mean I know I didn't but I thought that that was just normal inter-store bias. Well maybe.

Alot of the customers who I served today said that they wouldn't go back there unless they had too, it was cramped, unfriendly and reminded them of Tescos (it did me too becuase of the way it's set out and stuff) They said that they much prefer Trowbridge. Whoo that means that most people will probably come back to us which mean that we willbe back to normalness, if there is a normalness at ASDA.

Also plople who have been over there to work have said that no one knows what they are doing and stuff and that they are mean and unfriendly. Plussss the store is smell coz of the fish. I couldn't work there for that reason. You can smell the fish everywhere. Urgh.

Erm apart from Frome bashing nothing much else happened at work.

Erm tonight I made scoobies while watching Viva SClub.

How sad is my life?

But if anyone wants a round scoobie all you need to do is ask coz I have several now.

Someone please give me something to do.

Drunken fool

Erm I'm quite worried.

I seem to have been branded a drunken fool. Not just by Jo but by people at work.

Erm it kinda started last week (well kinda) when me and Becky were talking to a Fromie about being Bogies. Becky brought up the ASDA parties and goes "Oh they're really good and she's normally drunk at them" and points atme.

Now I've only actually been to one offical ASDA party. Where yes I was (very) drunk. But then I hadn't really eaten all day and Kevin and ASDA bought me drinks. Sooooo really it wasn't my fault was it? Plus I've learnt my lessons from that- 1. Don't ever drink that much again, 2. Don't ever drink WKD again, 3. Don't say stupid things to managers.

Maria, Katie and Amanda (Kerrys cousin) were talking about my drunkeness on several occassions (erm 3) It was all rather embarassing really , especially seeing as there were customers and stuff.

I don't drink that much really. Only if I go out. I'm just naturally hyper. Sometime anyways.

Optimistic to the point of foolishness.

Weellllllll guess what time I worked til? Thats right 8. Idiot.

Well when I went in this morning there were about 8 people staying on til 8 so I thought I would be ok. That I would be able to go home at a normal time. But at 12 Anita came up to me and asked if I would work until 8. So me being me (and not having and excuse) said yes.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was quite quiet after six so that wasn't too bad. Plus it makes up for the fact that I have no overtime for next week and no chance of getting any. That is unless I go to Frome. Whihc to be frank I don't want to do. But that means that I have to work my ass off for the rest of the month.

Today was ok really. I was on a middlely till which wasn't too busy. I was with Maria and Katie so we could talk when we were'nt serving anyone. We had bag packers in so I didn't have to pack.

Speaking of bag packers. I had Amanda- Kerrys cousin- bag packing for me. it was amusing to begin with- her singing and stuff but after awhile it began to get annoying and generally scare the customers. Buuutttt she says that she's doing bag packing next saturday and guess who she said she would come and find? That's right. Me.

Umm so I'm not sure what I'm going to do next week. I'm going to go insane.

Cruisin'

Umm today I got up about 10ish. I did some washing went on the computer and pissed around for ages doing nothing.

Umm about half two I decided that I was going to paint some more of my room. You know like you do. So now I've got half a wall to do in that colour. Whoo. But I did make a bit of a mess really. On me. It was all up my arms where it had splattered off the roller and somehow in my hair.

Erm mum decided to drag me off to kick boxing with her and Laura so that she wouldn't get bored alone.

Erm text Kerry and Jo to see if they were going to the thing in the park.

We went to that but because it was so crappy and crowded we ened up just aimlessly wandering until it started to rain, when we went "cruisin" in Jo's car.

So yeah we got lot and nearly ended up in a lake.

But apart from that it was all in all a good night. Well I thought so anyways.

Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese

Erm, this morning I went to Devizes because mu and dad wanted to go to the market and decided to drag me along too. Erm so yeah we walked around Devizes and stuff.

Went into birthdays and saw Kelly. Glynis is still marking her stuff and that, got dragged away : (

Erm yeah thats about it.

Ooooooo and Uncle Andy just rang and asked if mum and dad wanted to go away in his mahooosice caravan in Septemeber for a few days. So they're going with Laura. I don't really want to so I'm not. Simple. Not sure whats going on with the dog but I think I may end up with him.

Paaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrttttttttttttttttttttttttttty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only joking. But anyone who wants to come round is welcome.

Cold and Tired

I'm freezing cold.

I'm tired. (couldn't have a nap, damnit)

I have work in 45 minutes.

Not good.

Good morning

Erm todays been ok.

Done quite alot really. Umm tidied my room, had a shower, watched Tracey Beaker. My hair smells great, thank you Kirsty.

Went shopping this afternoon. Spent ages at the front of the store talking to Barbara, mainly about Frome. And I go "oh I don't likethe intercomy things they've got on the check outs" to whihc she replies "we've got them now" Crapness. I didn't like it when we had to use the phones it was horrible but this is just as bad and it's perminant.

Erm did shopping. Going to a checkout and Pete goes "come here you" he takes me up to a till and goes "this is how it works you press this button (presses button) and you talk, and this is the alarm(presses alarm, whihc is really loud)"

Then he was stood there talking to mum and Lorraine comes along and she tries to put some paper down my back and she goes "urr your hairs wet" well it was only a ickle bit damp from when I washed it coz I can't use a hair dryer (poof) so somehow her and Pete end up smelling my hair. Strange.

Erm mum went up to a check out and goes "oh I can't be bother" and for some reason Pete ened up loading all the shopping onto the belt and then went down and "helped" us to pack. Well he put one or two things in a bag so we have millions of bags.

Erm asked Lizzie for some overtime and she was going to give me some but Caroline had the rota downstairs so I have to get some when I go back in to work.

Ohh and I brought some alcohol- cider and strawberry vodka stuff- the stuff me and Katie were on about a while ago so :P

Erm going to Jo's later with Kerry and I'm staying the night. Jo's picking me up after work. Drinking whoo. I drank a bottle of wine last night. It was only the cheapo stuff but still I don't normally do that.

Alcohol

Cocktail

?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizzila

Does this really sound like me? I dunno. The picture pretty though.

ASDAness

Umm today I was like overly sad and went to two ASDAs instead of one.

Me mum and dad went to the Trowbridge one and then my dad randomly decided that we should go and check out the Frome one. Fine so apparently everything was half price.

So we went ther. nothing was half price it was packed and didn't look all that new considering its only just been built.

I'm so glad I don't work there though, it is majourly scary. It's not as big as I thought it was but is alot bigger than Trowbridge. It's set out really oddly too. Weirdness.

Anyhoo the lady who served us did so much anti- 10 point plan- ness, these are the laws by which we should serve our customers *sounds like a video voice over person* She just wasn't very nice. I dunno maybe it was just first dayness but she was rushing through us, she didn't offer to pack, she didn't even smile and she didn't check who I said I was when I gave her my discount card which is naughty. Ok that last one was really hypocritacal because I don't check them either but then I know most of the people who give me them so know that they should have one.

Ok so maybe I'm being abit harsh to the poor ASDA woman who probably just had first day nerves. So I'm sorry.

Went to nan's- it's her birthday. Dad told her about Bob's "ghost". I dunno I'm getting more and more sceptical about that. I dunno. I just think it was my dad. I dunno.

Erm that's about it. Made mum and dad eat something. I'm quite worried about both of them. It's hit them hard and niether have slept well or eaten properly since. So top priority- try and get some normalness back into the house. Not going to be easy and I don't think it's going to happen.

Do You Believe?

I've just been told the weirdest thing I've ever heard.

Bob was here this morning. Hear me out.

Apparently he came in this morning and talked to my dad. The whole of down stairs smelt like him. His deoderant.

I really don't know whether to believe him or not.

I think it's just finally hit him that he's gone. Whether it's just that he wanted him to be here or if he really was here. I don't know.

I'm still not sure about "ghosts" and stuff. I think I believe. Or atleats I believe in the possiblility.

I'm not sure I sound crazy but I really had to get this out as soon as I heard.

Whoop

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory is out next friday.

Whoo it looks soo cool.

Must go see.

Jooooooo............... Loooorrrrraaaaaaa.

I'm bored. Blogged three times in five minutes that's a record even for me.

Number 88: Update

Erm today more 88's. Both in shopping and on my card.

And on the front of a news paper.

88 dead.

I don't know the full story coz I only see the front pages but something about a hotel in Egypt or something.

Is it possible for a number to stalk you?

Am I reading too much into this?

Yeah probably.

Lazt days.

Today was strange. It was Kirsty's last day. : (

Gonna miss her who else is gonna give me random hugs? Lol

Anyhoo she made me go on express with her. Had a feeling she would. Erm first we went and did some put backs together. Really she wanted to talk to me alone. Yeah saw that coming too.

Erm I still think it's strange there being people in the shop at quater to ten, when we're not even ready but there you go.

Mum came in and I sneaked off to help her pick flowers for Nan coz it's her birthday tomorrow. No one noticed I was gone but it was quiet and the flowers aren't that far away.

Erm on the whole today was kinda boring. It was quite quiet and me and Kirsty spent the time throwing notes to each other.

I did realise that I miss children. I don't miss my placements especially just working with the children. I need to find a me-ish job. Kirsty says I should go to Virgin with her- erm no, that would mean talking to people on the phone and I don't like doing that. Plus no children.

Erm at the end of the day Kirsty dragged me off with her s o that she could give everyone a hug.

That's about it really. Came home sat on the computer. Talked to Kerry.

That about sums it up really. A very Kirstysentric post.

Thank you.

It's the simple things that make you feel better.

Like chatting with a friend about crap (erm scobbies)

Just like to say thank you Jo. You helped me loads. It may not have seemed like much but it was.

You're a great friend.

Shall shut up and go to bed now.

Number 88

What does the number 88 mean?

Today loads of people have had shopping that has come to £something.88 or their change was £something.88. It freaked me out.

And then At lunch I had £2.88 on my smart card and then when I had brought my lunch I had £1.88 left.

What does it mean?

Goodbye.

I've been trying to put thsi off since I came home.

It seems so strange so unreal.

At lunchtime I was sat downstairs eating lunch (suprises) and a woman came in and goes "Is Naomi here?" "Erm yeah that's me" "Your mum needs to see you" Racheal goes "Yeah she probably wants the discount card again Nay"

So I went upstairs. I had a feeling I knew what it was about, I don't know how I just did.
This morning before I went to work Mum tried to ring Bob but there was no answer. I knew it was to do with him.

She was stood by the door. I knew what it was, her eyes were watery and red. Anyways she had rung Claire Bobs daughter coz at one she still couldn't get hold of him. So Claire went round to his and she found him. She said that she thought he was dead. She was going down to Yeovil.

She started to cry. I cried.

I met Racheal on the stairs she was like "whats wrong hun?" and she hugged me. I went down and Kevin was sat down there eating. I was trying to stop crying but couldn't. He was there being all nice, he put his arm around me and asked me what was wrong. I didn't want to go home. He said I could. I wanted to stay. I needed something to do. I didn't like not knowing for sure but it kinda took my mind off it.

I fine for the rest of the day until Sue said to me at the end of the day "you alright" I just started crying. I didn't want him to be dead, he's closer than most of my family, he's "uncle Bob". Kirsty was there and she was like "whats wrong?" I told her and she hugged me. She told me to text her later when I knew what had happened. I knew deep down what had.

Neil picked me up, I went home and I saw mum outside she was talking to Paul who used to work with Dad and Bob. I knew what had happened.

He's gone.

We're not going to the funeral and stuff. His ex-wife (who he hadn't had contact with for ages) told my mum that we were nothing. That we're not family so we don't matter.

If we don't matter then why do we feel like this?

Pointlessness

Umm today was another one of my pointless days. I did nothing much until about 2:30 when I decided that it would be a good idea to start painting my room. Well it may not have been the most intellegent thing to do when you have work in 3 1/2 hours but the paint was there and I was bored. So now I have 3/4 of a paler lilac wall.

Umm work was pretty crappy. It went from really busy to really quiet and I ened up playing with a weird ball thing.

They played 911 on the radio too so we were all dancing to that which was cool.

Katie was being mean to me again just coz shes a psycho and is working millions of hours.

I got my P45 from Centre Parcs today. It's all over. But Shirley wants me back. She told mum that she'd have me back tomorrow if she could coz now she only got one decent student and a crappy one. I don't think I can go back though coz I know what I'd end up doing. Working waaayyyy too much.

Anyhoo. I really want something interesting to say but I don't have anything.

I've just gotten into this loop of nothingness. I do nothing. I have nothing to do. It all means nothing. I have nothing to work towards.

This is all stupid.

I'm going to shut up now.

Night.

Erm worlk and stuff

I woke up this morning to an empty hous again. Ok so it was ten but that's not the point. I didn't mind so much coz it meant that I could make as much noise a I wanted to pretty much.

Anyhoo spent the morning doing pretty much nothing same with the afternoon. Oooooo apart from I went and got some paint today so anyone wo wants to help me to paint my bedroom can come round. Ok you dodn't have to paint coz I actually quite like painting. So yeah, I wanna do it now but I haven't got enough time to do all of it because of work.

Went to work and did some work. Katie was being mean and said that I was underworked and lazy just because I didn't do as many hours as she did and stuff. :(

Oh and this weird old forein guy came in and I served him. He asked me where I was from. I was like "Erm here" and he goes "oh so you're from England then" err yeah pretty much weirdo buh bye. So yeah that was my weird customer of the day.

So yeah that's about it really. I haven't got that much to say really.

Oh except Kat rang me. Guess what she wanted. I can't though coz I'm already covering Maria's. So yeah.

The morning in the life of a porter. Well sort of.

This morning my mum woke me up at half six. I think. It was six something. I fell back asleep. Well that wasn't my fault, I didn't sleep well last night. The dog kept growling at something, and then I was hot so I opened the window then I got too cold. Argh I hate it went it's like that.

Erm so went to work, whoo. Went upstairs talked to Pete about his birthday etc and he can't remember a thing, not giving me a fag or anything. Not to mention trying to put his hand doen my top to get one. Then all of a sudden he goes, "oh did you know you're supposed to unlock the trolleys?" "Erm no, I was bullied into being here. Incase you didn't notice this isn't my normal job."

So I went out side with Laurie and he helped me do it.

So yeah things were fine and dandy until i was joined by Lindell or what ever his name is. Argh he did my nut in. He didn't have a clue what he was doing even though it was his noral job being a porter. He followed me around, made me do all the work and then had the audacity to say that I wasn't doing any. Ass. In the end when someone told me that there were trolleys off somewhere I left without telling him where I was going. Ahhh five minutes peace at least.

Went down for a break and he followed me. That quite annoyed me coz there was no one left to do the trolleys so god knows what state they were in. I don't Natalie said that she wanted to porter. So score I ened up on a check out. Yes.

Um at 12:45 Natalie came to take me off. I was like "why?" I found Pete talking to my Mum. He goes "go and get the discount card for your mum" I was like okkkkkkkkk if you say so. So when I came back up he asked me what time I finish and I was like in ten mins. And so he goes "Just leave then" "huh?" "just leave before I change my mind" so he pushed my off up the aisle and the calls my name and blows me a kiss. Okkkkkkkk strange guy.

Umm I somehow lost my clocking in card today but it was handed in in the office. I was asked if I had a card holdy thing, but I don't so I haven't got one. Buuuutttttttt Emma said that if I waited a couple of weeks and gave her £1 then I could have a tickeld pink one. so whoo I'm more special, plus the money from them goes to breast cancer charities and stuff so yeah all good.

Oh and I have Kevins shirt. He kept his side of the bargin and I have a nice lilac shirt. I'm now going to have to get the pait mixed on principal but yeah I need to re-peaint my room anyways, the colour isn't right so yeah. Just need sometime off to do it.

Haven't done much since then Just sat around and watched tv.

Nothingness

I have not really done alot today.

I woke up at about 11.

Went to work at 4:30.

Greeted for half an hour then went on a till.

Did put backs, nearly ran Kevein over with a trolley, he said it would be the last thing I did before leaving.

That's about it really.

I should go to bed even though it's like really early. Otherwise I won't get up in the morning. Don't want to go in, will majourly mess up portering.

Workaholic

I started work at one today. I woke up at about 10ish, did stuff etc.

Went to work. I got there overly early so I went and brought a drink. Then I went and stood at the podium for a bit taking with Caroline and this other random lady whose name I can't remember about Carolines cheapo watch and clairvoyants (sp?) And Caroline goes hadn't you better do some work. Hmmm yeah you're a fine one to talk.

So went up me and Ally asked Caroline for overtime and she started but then had to take people off and stuff. So I did some breaks. Then Went back and ended up talking with Caroline and Kevein about portering. Kevein was doing it and he goes "I'm not doing it on Wednesday I don't care who does it I just need you to find someone to" Then goes "Naomi what are you doing Wednesday?" "Ummm sleeping" "Do you fancy portering?" "Hmmmm let's see portering, staying in bed, hard choice" "Ok how about staying in bed and having a permenant job-" that was uncalled for- "I'll tell you what how about I make it worth while? I'll bring the shirt in" Oh excuse me while I celebrate, no really, the shirt was a joke which my mum took abit far I mean yeah it's a nice colour and stuff but do I really want his shirt? Erm no. Anyways he kept wearing me down until I said yes. So now I'm working 8-1 on Wednesday. Idoit. That was my day off.

Erm stood around doing nothing for a while while "sorting out overtime" with Caroline. Am working:

• Tuesday: 5-8
• Wednesday: 5-8
• Thursday: 6-9

Which on the whole isn't too bad for a week. I've got Monday and Friday off so that's good.

Oooo and I got more promo stuff. Whoo. Well it was promo stuff I kinda nicked it. I have a witches hat and Harry Potteresque glasses. Whoo I was wearing them on and off today. Some weirdo guy said that the hat was cool and some other weirdo said that I was a Welsh witch. Erm ok I'm not Welsh but yeah. Piccy tomorrow maybe.

Erm got a letter from Centre Parcs. I'm getting a pay rise. It's quite funny really coz I don't work there anymore (I've been "terminated" on all of the training records) so why I got a letter I don't know. Anyhoo I've got a psy rise. Or at least would do if I was still there. I would get 5.78 and hour if I was still there. Hmm *considers going back*

I really need to ring that number tomorrow.

Party time

Last night was kerry's birthday party. Most of the details are in Jo's blog so yeah look for them there. :P

Umm it wasn't as bad as I thought it would have been. I hardly knew anyone. Jo let me have her alcohol so that was all good, thank you Joooooo. Drank more than I was planning to, but I was ok this morning no head ache or anything was expecting one coz I felt quite sick, especially before we ate.

Um yeah drank, ate, danced. Lol that was funny. Me and Jo having a sword fight with the stick thingies and then dancing to like the YMCA and having this like coordinated dance routine thing whihc I noticed the others copy bits of........... I think.

Oh and remind me to buy some tit tape before I wear that top again. I mean seriously everyone told me it would be fine but it wasn't I swear I must have flased my bra a million times. Must buy tape.

Hmmm yeah and the cigar guy (seriously can't remember his name) smoked my fag. Ok so someone had to, I wasn't about to was I? So yeah I don't have one anymore.

Umm ended up danceing with Kerry and Kelly and Emma. Cigar guy took a pic of the four of us with my camera. When Kelly was there introduing herself she asked me who I was and I made a complete prat out of myself because I couldn't quite get it out. Idiot.

Oh and event of the night (sorry but it was really) Jo ended up dancing and kissing Nick. How it happened I don't know but yeah it did. Took some pics incase Jo didn't remember.

In other news....................................

Today I woke up at ten I thought it was really early though and was like oh I can't get up now because then I'll be really tired and stuff but it wasn't that early so yeah.

Umm went to ASDA coz mum decided that we should have a roast dinner so needed a chicken or something. Umm yeah went in got called trouble same old same old.

Came home help with lunch. Read. Ate lunch. Read. Umm yeah generally I read today. Yep I'm a sad boring old fart but hey I don't care. Anyhoo I finished the book. It was Ok I suppose not great considering. Ok the main thing is I want to know what happens next so that why I don't like it.

Erm yeah went online put my pics up and stuff. All in all a lazy boring day today. I've got work tomorrow don't really want to go but hey I'll live.

Oh and................

Party Piccies

Reading and shopping.

Well today I went to Yeovil to see Bob and go shopping. Really I didn't buy that much but yeah.

I was woken up way too early for a day off as somebody *points at dad* decided that we should leave early (around 8ish) so that we could get back early, which is kinda my fault but yeah not fair.

Erm spent the day reading and stuff. On page 245 not that anyone would really care, but yeah not bad going considering I went shopping and stuff. (Yes saddo I know) Mum kinda ruioned it last night by opening the back page and going "Oh My God she killed Dumbledore" Erm yeah thanks for that. Ok so I would have read ahead eventually, curiosity + low will power = looking ahead in books,l but yeah, but now I'm doing it to her.

Oh and since I got home I've wrapped Kerrys presents and stuff (well put them in bags) Erm have to go and do my hair not sure what I'm going to do with it yet, I don't feel very straight hairish.

Midnightness

Last night was quite funny really. Went to work which wasn't too bad. But I did end up on till 3 for an hour which wasn't as bad as it could have been either.

Erm went home at ten got changed had something to eat yadda yadda. Went back to ASDA to wait for midnight. Me and mum were sat in the car and people kept coming and even though most of them were going for the Ottikars release party (coz they had a magician) she became all crazy and stuff determined to be the first in the queue. She decided that we were going to get out of the car and "guard" both of the doors so that no one else could get in first.

We were slowly joined by people. Beck came and was a person behind us. They were playing McFly inside the store and I was there dancing to it and she goes "that's why people think you're strange" Oh well I was trying to provide some light entertainment for the group, erm that and I was bored. Oh and turning the sign back around because one of the Ottikars witches came and turned it around coz the book was cheaper in ASDA than there. So I went and turned it around.

At midnight they played the Big Ben chime thingies and then the Harry Potter music. I got the first two copies. Whoo I'm the best and the saddest.

Oh and I feel sorry for the poor guy serving. Because firstly he was on his own with a huge queue and secondly the books were coming up at the wrong price so he had to price overide all of the books that went through.

So yep I'm a saddo who really needs to find something to do but hey I wanna know what happens.

In The Morning

Erm today woke up at 9:05, watched Arthur- what a sad life I lead. It's not on next week : ( But then UBOS is on : ) so that's ok.

Erm had a shower came down stairs ate a banana. Yep you needed to know that.

Erm yeasterday I brought a top partly for Kerrys party, partly because I could. So here it is:



I love the bottom bit but I'm a bit iffy abot the fact that it has no sleeves at all. I haven't worn a sleeveless top for about 4 years- since I got some weird infection thing which has left my armpit and stuff all scarred, mum sayd I'm being silly but I'm not.

Anyhoo thought I'd blog now because I'm going to work at five til ten and then I'm going to be sad. At midnight I'm going to be back at ASDA (well probably alot before that actually) to buy the new Harry Potter book and even sadder it's for me. The thing is I know I could buy It tomorrow morning at like 8 but I want one first. I dunno. Even though I know that there will be loads, it's not the same. Yep so sado me.

Not good mood.

I am not in a very good mood. I don't know why but I'm nlot. It was work I think. I was fine until like half way through my shift but then I was suddenly on a downer. I didn't want to be there, I wanted everyone to go away.

Laura's being a pain too.

And I was talking to someone on MSN who I think was just hoping that I'd dish the dirt on everyone coz hey they lead a boring little isolated life away from everyone else. She kept asking who was online. I just felt like saying well why don't you look? Argh she was so annoying and then she goes I'm bored and left without saying good bye.

Oh and Kat rang me. She wanted to know if we were still swapping shifts at the weekend. I was like yes. She said that she was thinkning about backing out. I just felt like say well go on then coz that is really annoying. I mean she said that she'd do it, it's not like I've never done anything for her is it? Hmmm lets think there was that Friday that I covered for her the month before last and did she do anything for me? No. So it's time I got something isn't it.

Anyways I'm covering Katies Tuesday and Thursday shift in a couple of weeks. That's ok though coz I know that she'd do the same for me. She would have done Saturday for me if she wasn't covering for someone else. So yeah I know I can call in a favour there if I need to.

Welldonnnneeeeeee!

Ok first of all a heeeeuuuuugggggeeee well done to Jo. Coz she passed her driving test today (but you already knew that). Whoo.

Secondly I rang that number Glynis gave me finally after plucking up the courage to only to find that the number doesn't exsist. Great now I'll have to phone Glynis and ask her for it again coz either she got it wrong or I wrote it down wrong (totally possible when your half asleep) so yeah I'll do that soon.

I've spent the morning between the computer and the Tv. This morning I got up and watched Arthur followed by Tracy Beaker. Whoo I'm sooo mature.

I've got work later. Three hours but it should be Anita or Kirsty G running at thats always fun. Plus Katie and Lydia should be ther so hopefully I'll get to talk to them coz I haven't really in what feels like ages. So yeah.

Piccies!!!!!!!

Well there were groupie pics here but I've taken them down. But here are some feet.

Bathnesssssssssss

Went to Bath today with Jo and Lora.

The original plan was to get Kerry's birthday presents but we didn't have amazing luck with that. I brought her one thing and we brought her a joint present. Lol I can't wait to see her face when she opens it, my mum wants a picture of her when she does.

Erm I brought a Tinkerbell hoola hoop from the Disney Store which I had to carry around Bath with me. That was amusing. Lora kept telling me off though :( just because I coulda hit someone with it. Well they shouldn't be in the way should they?

We had pizza and talked, erm can't remember exactly what but yeah.

Went to the cinema and watched The Decent. It was really good. It was bloody and gorey and stuff but it was good. I was sat in the middle (coz I'm special) and either side of me I had Jo and Lora and the were both jumping and screaming. I wasn't. Honest. I think we may have annoyed the other whole three people in there coz we talke most of the way through it really loudly. I know I would have got annoyed if it was me.

Jo was trying to freak us out (I hope) By asking if there was a head down lower watching us. There wasn't.

Then Jo decided that she was going to crawl around and tickle Lora feet. She was there just slouching further and further down in her seat and making noise but Lora didn't seem to notice. I was just there wondering why it was taking so long. Then "Rawr" Jo grabbed Loras shoulders (I think) and she jumped. I t was so funny. Ok it wouldn't have been funny if it was me that she'd done it to but yeah.

The thing that made me jump the most I think wasn't the film it was when I looked around and there was a cinema person there. That scared me coz he just suddenly appeared behind us.

So yeah then we went to the station and waited for ages and nearly got on the wrong train. We took photos except I have like 10 and a video and Jo has 50. But yeah I haven't put them up on Photobucket so they're not up here yet. Shall put them all up tomorrow.

Weirdness

Today I was woken up by my phone going off. It was Glynis. I was just there like what does she want at this time in the morning?

I thought it was something to do with exam results even though Sharon told Jo they weren't out til Friday. Anyways she goes to me "have you got a job yet?" "Erm no" "Theres a job at the womens refuge liooking after the children"

I was like ok. She gave me a pone number and name. So I'll ring that later or something.

I've got a problem though, I've lost my CRB check letter thingy. I have no idea where I put it. Poopies.

Overtime

I went to ASDA (oooo suprise suprise) Went shopping brought food. Kirstys leaving in a couple of weeks, she's going to Virgin.

Erm got some overtime. There wasn't that much I think I pretty much got the last of it today. So anyways I'm working:

• Monday- 1-6
• Tuesday- 4:30-8
• Thursday- 5-8

Which on the whole isn't that bad really is it? Oh and I think I'm doing Marias shift on Fridat as well but thats only four hours so really its not that bad.

Spent most of the day on line doing nothing. Came off the computer and did nothing. Wow I'm being constructive today aren't I?

Bath tomorrow. Shopping for Kerry's birthday present and then we're going to go and see The Decent. So must check camera batteries and remember ID.

Update

Ok someone *points at Jo* "reminded" me of another nickname for my A-Z.

N - Nicknames: Erm- Numni Ping, Numni, Nums, Numa, Numa Numa, Nutti, Bitch, Trouble, Scary lady, Crazy lady, Lippy, squash-squash ANNNNNNDDDDDDDD Stupid-face.

Is that better Jo?

A-Z of me (which I stole yes I know)

A - Age you got your first kiss: 10-spin the bottle at Oxenwood, but kinda 7

B - Band listening to right now: Maroon 5

C - Crush: Erm.........

D - Dad's name: Martin

E - Easiest person to talk to: I dunno- depends what about I suppose

F - Favorite bands at the moment: Coldplay

G - Gummy worms or gummy bears?: Gummi Bears- bouncing here and there and everywhere

H - Hometown: Trowbridge

I - Instruments: I used to play the guitar and piano. I learnt to kinda play the keyboard at my last school placment

J- Junior High: Erm Heytesbury

K - Kids: not yet- happy with other peoples at the moment

L - Longest car ride ever: Erm maybe Frome to Scotland when I was ickle

M - Middle Name: Margatret

N - Nicknames: Erm- Numni Ping, Numni, Nums, Numa, Numa Numa, Nutti, Bitch, Trouble, Scary lady, Crazy lady, Lippy, squash-squash

O - Obvious fact about yourself: I have a mouth

P - Phobia[s]: Needles, Pain

Q - Quote: "Courage is not the absence of fear rather the judgement that something is more important"

R - Reason to smile: Erm I dunno I seem to smile alot

S - Song you sang last: Umm, I've song quite a few I don't think I can actually remember we were singing Disney songs randomly so a Disney song.

T - Time you woke up [today]: First at 8 by the kids next door, then at 10:30 by the man who cam to fix the phone

U - Unknown fact about me: I'm an attention seeker

V - Vegetable you hate: Erm I dunno

W - Worst habit(s): Saying yes even if I know I shouldn't

X - X-rays you've had: Erm one on my teeth I think thats all

Y - Yummy food: Pooh Sticks

Z - Zodiac sign: Taurus

Just for Jo

So yeaterday I got really bored and decided to put sequins on my face. I told someone about this and they said that I should do it again and take a\ picture so I did- See easily persuaded.

Stupid-face

Yep that's me. I'm a stupid-face (ta Jo for the name)

Tonight I went to ASDA with mum to get some stuff (thats after we went to Tescos and theres nothing there) and theres Kevin knelt on the floor reducing a load of meat and stuff. Around him are a load of people, circling like vultures waiting to get their cheap bit of meat, their bargin as it were. Anyway, he finished one tray and goes to me "will you put this in the chiller for me please" I thought he was joking, it's what a lot of them do, they tell me to jump on a till and serve someone and stuff, but he just looked at me looking kinda harassed. So like an idiot I put them out.

Mum asked him about his shirt and he said that he had brought it in for her on Saturday but she hadn't gone in. But then he could have given it to me right? Well he didn't. So yeah.

There were loads of people from other departments on checkouts tonight which is strange because there was no more overtime left coz the rota was full. So why was there no one really on tills? It's like last Tuesday when there were only three checkout operators so Wednesday it was a mess. Why didn't they ring anyone and ask them to come in? I know that I would probably end up being that person but at least they'd have people there.

I checked my overtime for Thurs day. I'm doing 5-8. Which means that I make up the three hours that I'd miss thropugh Kat doing my shift on Saturday, so really thats ok.

I saw Angela too, she was helping this guy with his shopping and she goes "I've got your bracelet, but I think it's in my fleece pocket" I was really suprised that she actually remembered that it was mine coz she was pretty out of it on Saurday night.

Becky said that she's might end up in Tesco's on Friday night with me and mum. She called me trouble and asked if I was causing trouble. Sheila called me trouble too as did Kirsty G. Seriously I think my name badge says the wrong thing. I mean everyone seems to call me trouble. I'm going to change my name badge I think. See if anyone notices.

So yeah that was probably the highlight of my otherwise boring day.

creatively bored

Today I feel creatively bored. I don't know how to explain it, it's strange. I'm bored and I want to do something creative like paint or make something or something.

Thios morning I was woken up way to early by everyone going out. You don't need to slam the door people. So yeah me being me I couldn't get back to sleep so I got up. I've spent the morning between the computer the sofa (I watched Auther and Tracey Beaker this morning) and the kitchen where I randomly cooked stuff for lunch (cheesey bean pasta)

I need something to do. My mum says I should just relax but I can't. I'm at a stage where I can't sit idle for long I need to do something. But I haven't got anything to do anymore. Ok I will on from midnight on Friday but that'll last what a weekend? Not good enough.

Someone give me something to do. Please. I'm going to go crazy. Well crazier.

Mambo number five

Ok yes its a song and stuff by Bob the Builder or Lou Bega (?) dependiong on your preference. Anyhoo thats not the point.

I've spent most of the night sat talking to people on MSN. Yep that's my evening. I really have nothing to do. Although I did decorate the photo frames that I brought on Friday so they're all prettyfied and me- ish. All I need now is some piccies to go in them.

Jo got me thinking about (and singing) old songs, starting with Crush. Yeah and the mention of Aqua earlier got me thinking about them too. The thing is that is what makes a childhood. Really cheesey pop songs. Well decent cheesey pop songs, you just don't get them anymore. But what is a childhood without them? They're the songs that you'll remember the words to even after years of not hearing it and deneying that you ever liked it. But everyone knows them and everyone, secretly, likes them.

We need to revive the old pop song me thinks coz if you ask me they provide happiness to people, they make you smile.

So yeah, fifth post of the day and I'm reduced to talking about pop songs.

Ooooooo I'd also like to express my dislike of a certain Melanie Brown who ruined what could have been the best thing to happen at Live 8 last weekend. The apparently bankrupted one is the reason the bestest poppy band ever (ok in my opinion) did not reform. I've been thinking alot about them and their music resently (thanks to Jo mainly I think) and I just feel like they aren't apprieciated like they should be, they should have preformed last week. It would have made me along with probably millions of others too.

Ooooo also I hate to say it but I'm also not liking Sharon Osborne at the moment. I can't help thinkning that certain people would still have jobs if it weren't for "the bottom tapping supermarket" paying her to plug them. I dunno maybe that's just me.

Contemplation.......

Ok so yeah I was just thinking, Its been two weeks since the end of college. What have I done? Worked. Have I looked for a job? No. Have I actually done anything constructive? No.

What am I doing? I dunno. I may have kinda decided that I'm going to uni, but apart from that. I mean I had a scary thought yesterday, what if I end up at ASDA perminantly. I mean I really don't see me leaving at the moment. I was talking to Beck about getting a job with children saying that I really should and she was like "yeah so should I, I've been qualified for two years, I'm still here".

I dunno the plan was always that ASDA was a temporary job, that by this time I would have looked and hopefully got a job. What changed? I dunno maybe it was my last placement. Maybe it put me off. I mean Sam says that she doesn't want to work in a nursery now and she was there too.

But then if this is a gap year does it really matter? I dunno. I'm qualified to do something yes but would it matter if I was still at ASDA if it was only a gap year? I want to travel and do stuff but I don't know if I have the confidence to do it by myself I don't know if I could do that. It's a dream yes, but maybe tht's all it is.

ASDA kinda feel like its where I belong. I don't want to leave. as sad as that is, I want to stay there. I never thought I'd see myself working in a supermarket but here I am.

I miss college as well. Is that sad. I think it's the security, of knowing that I don't have to have that much responsibility and stuff because I'm a student, I'm not qualified.

I miss the people. I miss the "crew" most of all, I'd love to just randomly meet up with them and stuff but I don't like suggesting stuff incase they don't want to (I was going to ask aboput shopping for days before I actually did) I don't want my plan to be rejected , maybe I feel like it would be like them rejecting me. I dunno.

Anyhoo I dunno, maybe I'm just rambling on about stuff. I do that alot. I mean this is my forth blog entry today, thats bad even for me. I just feel like I should talk about stuff I want to type. I guess it's something to do. I don't know how I'm going to cope next week when I have nothing to do. I go dolally when I have a spare 3 hours let alone 3 days.

Ok I think I'm gonna stop going on and subjecting you to my ramble.

Harry Potter and The War of Promo Badges

Yesterday I went into work and some of the people were wearing promo badges for Harry Potter and the Half- Blood Prince. Me being me I wanted one. Well I do love my promo stuff and it's Harry Potter so win win, I get to annoy Laura too.

So when I went to the podium first thing I asked Kirsty if there were any and she goes no. So I asked her for hers. She said no. I asked her if I could have hers instead then and she said no. She then went to put me on till one but Sue said that that was mean, partly because she was buddying a Frome lady on till three so told Kirsty to put me on till four so she could pick on me.

Sue had a badge so I asked her if I could have hers she said no. I asked Hilary from the ASDA Aces if I could have her badge but Sue told her to say no so she did.

Eventually Sue told me to go to Home and Leisure to get one. So I was there thinking yeah ok I'll go at lunch and get one. I never miss out on promo stuff, ie, sash, tiara, bunny ears, increadibles badge, dodgey hats etc.............

Anyhoo Anita comes along and she was wearing a badge so I asked her if I could have hers and she goes "what this one?" pointing to the Harry Potter one and I nod, Ok then ahd she hands it over.

Yess I have a promo badge won the badge wars. At least I know Anita loves me, even thnough she wouldn't trust me with children.

Just like a Sunday

When I woke up this morning I was fine. That kinda suprised me really, I drank quite alot really, I can't really remember what though. Anyhoo I was tired but that was about it.

I left for work quite late this morning, well later than usual. I got there about 9:50 which is late for me on a Sunday coz I need to get a decent till. Anyhoo when I went upstairs there wetre people there. I was like "I'm not that late am I?". Turns out I wasn't, Someone (one of the big bosses) decided that we would do a Tescos and open early for the poeple to look around and fill their trolleys and stuff, the thing is no one told us lowly checkout operaters.

Twas quite funny today. Anita and Kirsty were running and both had hangovers. I was beeping them for the fun of it, well not quite it was fun but there was a reason kinda.

Erm I got bored today coz it was quite quiet and Katie wasn't in so we couldn't talk about crap all day between customers. So yeah.

I was really hungry today, I always am after I go out and drink. Anyhoo Anita was really behind with the breaks normally I wouldn't mind but I was hungry. I didn't get my break til 2 which was pushing it anyways. Anyhoo it wasn't all bad coz when I went up I only had an hour and a half left so that was ok. But Katie came in to see me when I was on my luch and so I missed her. Kirsty said that she was ok and didn't feel too bad which suprised me coz she drank loads.

After lunch I got really bored and restless because there was nothing to do so I ened up doing baskets, put backs and damages with Kirsty and mess around and hide from Anita.

Anyhoo I'm not working again til Thursday when I'm only doing a few hours (4-8 or something like that) whihc will make up the hours that I'll miss on Saturday through swapping with Kat. So all I'm working is Thursday and Friday which is cool, plus I have the weekend off whihc is like my first one ever since starting there, oh apart from Christmas but that doen't really count, does it?

Cigarettes and Alcohol

Last night I went out with the ASDA lot. It was Jan hen night/ Amanda's leaving do/ Pete's birthday. We all met in Wetherspoons at about 8ish, I was the younest one there until Katie decided to come over and join us for a bit. She also introduced me to lust, which is absolutely lush. It's Smirnoff, Archers and orange juice. It's great, you can't taste the alcohol in it so you could get absolutely wrecked on it. I only had one jug of it Katie had four by the time we met up again. Me and Katie had a competition of who could drink theirs first, I won, Katie said I was cheating, I wasn't.

I went off with the hen night lot to More. Racheal dragged me, she kinda took the role of my looker-after person. So I followed those lot. At More we had blue champagne and cocktails, not sure what they were but they were good. We were walking back into town when we met back up with another group which included Amanda. We went to some random pub up the road where we used the toilets and then left to go back to Wetherspoons which was now really packer and full of mostly blokes.

Back at Wetherspoons I found Katie and we started screaming and hugging generally being hypo. Katie spilt my archers over me and blamed me. I stole Petes fag. He was soo drunk, It was hilarious, people had been buying him shots and he couldn't remember what he'd had. Anyhoo, I told him that it was mine and he goes "no coz you don't smoke and your mum will shout at me" He ended up chasing me around. In the end Anita took it off me and put it down my top, Pete went to get it, I took it out and put it down Anita's, I don't know what happened then coz me and Katie started hugging and screaming again.

I ended up being the youngest one again because Katie went somewhare else with Ally and their friends. Anyways we went to the snooker club. Erm yeah, we ended up upstairs with loads of us sitting around a small table. Pete came over again and offered everyone but me a fag, even the non smokers. I was like "I want one" and he goes "no your mumm'l have a go at me again" But in the end he gave me one.

When I was out I saw loads of people from my placements. Well a few. I saw Claire and Zoe from See Saw. And Lisa and a few of the people from the Mead who I don't know. It was so strange to see people from there out and drunk. Lol, It's stranger that being with ASDA people when their drunk coz their just more hyper than normal.

So that was my night, and once again my feet hurt.

Yesness

I got paid today. £400 and something. Who overtime does pay. So of course I went shopping.

I bought loads. But that was only because everything was on sale, so yeah thats my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

I brought:

• A pair of jeans
• A pair of black trousers
• A white top
• A brown top
• A white top, and
• A pair of black shoes

I also bought some photo frames, a book, a CD, some sequins and one of the venus devine razors.

When I went into ASDA with all my bags full of stuff everyone was like "what have you brought? I know it's payday but still" Caroline and Lizzie even went as far as looking through my bags. Erm yeah I wouldn't do that to you, well maybe.

Anyhoo work was quite crappy. We were so busy. Eveyone seemed to be there, well it felt like that anyway. Everyone I served had really big shopping, why? Are we closed tomorrow? I don't think so. Well I'm going to be there anyways even if we are closed.

Anyhoo. I got a phone call at about 10 this morning. It was Kat saying that she could definitly cover my shift next Saturday if I did her Friday. I was like yes I'll do it. The thing about Fridays is that I gets quietish about half eight nine. so It shouldn't be too bad, plus it's only five hours, shes doing eight for me. So yeah I love her.

We asked Kevin earlier and he was like "whos it for" Kat said it was for me and Kevin goes "Oh I can't let you do that then, if it was for Kat then yeah that would be fine but not for Naomi." He's going in three weeks, he's obviously not best pleased. He'll find out next week if he's going to transfer to another store, it'll be a different postion and stuff but yeah atleast he'll have a job. In the meantime he's going to tell people what he thinks, if someone annoys him then he's not going to hold back or anything.

Ok note to self: keep out of his way and not be youish.

Erm, stuff

Alots happened today.

I feel like crap.

All I want to do is curl up and go to sleep.

I get paid tomorrow, yay.

Louisa. one of the managers wanted to talk to me when I finished but she wasn't there so I couldn't. I'm quite worried I don't know what she wants.

Katies coming out with me on Saturday.

I'm going to bed, I'll write about today tomorrow.

Oh and Jo unblocked me.

Memories

Music is a powerful tool. It can envoke feelings in you and bring back memories of the past, whether they be happy or painful.

Music helps the people come together.

I think it does. Music helps to bring people together in a single moment. In that moment they share something in common no matter who or indeed what they are.

I was listening to random songs today, I got bored and so thought I'd amuse myself.

I was listening to the Spice Girls (I know) and there were the memories of year 6. The assembly, Oxenwood by the bonfire, On the hill at the fete, the end of year.

Viva Forever always reminds me of the end of year 6. We were going to perform it onn the last day and change the words and stuff. It was all so convinient, Geri had just left the band and Aimee had just had her tonsils out so she wouldn't be there - she was Geri. Strange coincedence. Things were so much easier then. I didn't have to worry about the future but I had it all planned out. I knew what I wanted to do, or at least what I thought I wanted to anyway.

Oasis songs remind me of when I left Kingdown. All I remeber is the crying, I thought it was the end of the world. I never thought I'd be that happy at college that I'd never be able to live without my friends there. Look how wrong I was. College wasn't the end, it was the beggining.

I'm always listening to music when I read books sometimes the same cd over and over again. The songs then become associated with the books. Everytime I heard a song from Rush of Blood to the Head by Coldplay I think of hobbits and stuff coz that's what I listened to when I read the book. There are several contenders for when I'm reading Half Blood Prince next week although that probably won't last long so it wuldn't really matter what I listened to.

Anyhoo......................

Music means so much to me. It's a medium through which you can express your mood. It can raise your spirits or in the worst case bring it down. Music is always there. The world would be almost silent without it.

I have no idea if this actually makes sense to anyone but me. But then I'm not sure it really makes sense to me, I'm just rambling like always. I might shut up soon. Probably................... Maybe.

Blocked

Jo just blocked me.

I don't know why.

I'm confused.

We were talking and then she goes I need to block you.

Why?

I'm all confused and sad.

Jo's gone.

I've got no one to talk to.

(Ok slightly melodramatic I have but yeah)

My feet hurt

Today I went to work at 8 in the morninng. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be actually, sure I was really tired when I started but that was my own fault, I was watching Sugar Rush on 4 then next weeks episode on E4. why did no one tell me about it before? It's great.

Today though I actually only served two people on a checkout today. I was put here there and everywhere.

First I was doing putbacks from last night (there were only three people on checkouts), coz Pete decided that I wasn't being helpful enough, even though I'd only just got in and there was no one else there.

Then Pete sent me and Becky onto chilled to put out the ready meals. That was fine until Beck decided that she had had enough and was going back to checkouts leaving me to do it by myself.

When I'd finished I went back and Pete sent me off to do bread, not happy. I was only going coz the others couldn't be bothered basically and they know that they can boss me around and I won't make a fuss, not like the other older ones.

The I went for my break, came back and went on express, I served 2 people and then came off because there was no change in it at all. What idiot let it get like that?

So yeah I came off of that and Becky goes "come and stand and talk to me, I'm not doing anything so you can not do anything either". She was buddying a Fromie on customer services. I stood there for a while and then Lorraine goes "are you gonna do any work?" Mean I was doing work........ kinda.

So anyways, Lorraine goes to Racheal "can I go in kiosk?" I was like "oooo I'll go too I'm not trained but I like annoying Lorraine", and they're like yeah you can go and be trained then. It turned out that Lorraine didn't go into kiosk so Amanda ended up training me.

It would have been fine if my feet didn't hurt because I'm stupid and wear heels, it doen't normally matter though coz I'm sat down and if I'm stood up I can take my shoes off. So now my feet hurt.

Becky told me that apparently they were considering making me a runner, erm who said that? Everyone else thinks it's hilarious. I do too, I mean putting me in charge, that would be totally............. chaotic is probably the best word for that. I don't think it would really work. Well it could but yeah, I'm supposed to be looking for another job and then leaving and stuff, if I was made a runner I would probably end up like Becky, still there in two years time doing the same job as when I left college when I'm a qualified nursery nurse.

So yeah there are job cuts at ASDA's all over the country. We're not really sure if and how it's going to affect the normal collegues but I know that at least three of our managers are going. The air has been rythe with rumour this morning but one of my fears has been confirmed, my favourite manager with pretty shirts is going to be leaving his job is being scraped. I really don't want him to go but in a month he will be gone unless he applies for the resently vacated lower managerial position which I really hope he does, I'm actually starting to like him.

So yeah I have the rest of the day off. Yeah, I'm amazing.

A whole lot of nothingness

Umm I didn't really do much today. It was my day off so, yay for days off. I slept in and went to town, I needed to find a black top for the funeral on Thursday (my dads cosin died last week) Erm went into town bought some trousers and a top (whihc isn't black)

Went into ASDA. The Fromey runner called me trouble. Wonder where she got that from! Anitas back. Yay. She greeted me with a "Hello trouble" charming, shes spent the last week in Greece, it's alright for some. I was like "I would say that I've had no one to pick on me but everyone has" My mum told her about Kevin and the shirt and stuff. Lol.

I'm working tomorrow at eight. What sort of idiot does that? I am so stupid. But then I'm only working til 12 not two ike I thought at first so thats not as bad, at least I've got the rest of the day off.

It was Amanda's last day today. It's really a shame coz she was so nice. On Monday night she was like "are you in tomorrow?" "erm no" "I'll say goodbye to you tonight then" ahh it's so sad. Everyone liked Amanda best out of our managers. Not many people like Kevin and no one's really sure about Lizzie. She gave me a hug, I wished her luck in her new job, she wished me luck in the future and stuff.

Anyhoo Saturday night there's an ASDA "gathering" of sorts. It's Amanda's leaving do, Jan's hen night and Pete's birthday. I think I'm going it kinda depends on whether I can get other people to go with me. Maria said that she might go. Kirsty says she'll go if other people go, Kat says she's going (but the she said that about the last ASDA party), and Katie says that she might go. Lydia on the other hand is at NAS (or something along those lines) so she's not coming. I want to go, I just don't want to go alone.

Blah

Blah blah blah blah blah. I'm tired, I'm going to bed. Night

I hate being me

Sometime I really hate being me. Everyone just expects so much of me. They expect me to be able to do stuff, so when I actually do something, achieve something, no one is suprised no one really cares, they knew I'd do it.

I'm the one that they all get compared to. I'm the oldest grandchild on my dads side. Well technically. I'm the one that they get compared to, test results, intellgence, other stuff they can do. It was always going happen but yeah it bugs me. I suppose I don't feel as bad as the others will feel when the are old enough to care or understand really. I hate to sound big headed but they will have a bit to live up to andI'm worried that they won't be able to, I'm worried that they will get compared to me and they won't feel "good enough" for everyone coz they're not as good as me at something.

Take Sherene it'll start for her soon, she's just done her year nine SAT's she'll be starting GCSE's next year. She'll be compared, her choices, her results. I'd hate that. I suppose I'm lucky in that respect I had no one to be compare to.

Anyways that wasn'tthe point. Since I finished the course and am all qulified and stuff I have only had one "well done" from a family member. That was my mum, and it was only because I said that no one had said it. I have them from old friends, from people at work, from managers but not my family. Everyone expected me to pass, so whats the point nothings changed.

I have.

They have noticed some of it. The big things. I don't hide away in my room so much. I talk to them more, stuff like that. I'm more confident, in myself in what I do (I don't mind being in pics anymore if you hadn't noticed) I'm happier (for the most part) I'm alot more comfortable with who I am. I dunno I'm just different, I know I am.

The last few months have been a struggle for me. I didn't have a great placement, I was really struggling with college work, I was working way too much, I didn't really have much of a life between those three places (unless on a DCE trip or talking on msn- thank you so much) I was just floating around generally confused and unhappy. But then no one would know that because I wouldn't tell them would I? But I got through it and I'm here now, I'm qualified, Ok I haven't got a piece of paper saying that I am yet but I am. I know I've passed.

But yeah Naomi's passed we knew she would. She always does everything so well blahdee blahdee blah. It's not important to them, they don't care. Maybe I care too much.

I think I'm going to go to uni next year. I was at in the car going out my nans and it just made sense to me, I think I want to be a teacher. I think I probably knew this all along but I didn't if that makes sense. So yeah, but everyones always expected me to do that. Theyv'e always expected me to go to uni. No one else has done it. I'd be the first one. Damn me for being the oldest.

So yeah sorry for rambling and being slightly depressive and stuff but yeah.

Money for nothing

Today was quite fun in a Sunday sort of way. First thing me and Kirsty went on a mini adventure down to the warehouse where she had to get the stuff for the kiosk. She needed help because she punched a wall last night and its all bruised and stuff and she can't bend her fingers, but won't go and get it checked out.

Then I picked the broken till, trust me, the belt kept sticking which was quite amusing when people had to push whole shops down the belt. Lol their own fault for coming to me.

Me and Katie asked Lorraine for an early break which we kinda got, well we had our lunch at 12 and so we shouldn't have had another break but we did. Yay we are amazing.

We played I-spy in the afternoon and Katie was cheating. Ok that's just coz I wasn't getting her worlds but yeah.

It was pretty pointless today really we just sat around doing nothing. But we got paid for it so I don't care.